He will be in a better place now
Whom are they honestly helping? I thought. And when did he become a woman? Days before his fatal drug overdose? He was ninety-eight. All kinds of good people die young. Dick Cheney. Henry Kissinger. Rupert Murdoch. The cemetery that people pass on their way to the airport? Perhaps a plot with a view of the Roy Rogers or that car wash that went out of business?
And what, exactly, is it better than? My brother, sister and I each faced the loss of our mom differently because we all are unique individuals who maintained unique individual relationships with her. While each loss may be different, there are many healing practices that are universally beneficial.
The answer is simple. Someone loved is gone and not coming back. That just plain sucks, especially not from the viewpoint of someone dealing with the early stages of grief. Your loved one may need help to find strength and it is important that it eventually happens.
But, in the throes of grief, whether a person shows strength, weakness, numbness or a combination of all three, it is important to communicate that whatever they are doing is perfectly normal. Moreover, the person will need to process the sadness at some point and feigning strength when the person feels most vulnerable may prevent this from occurring altogether. But, they are somehow getting through it, day by day. And, while mere survival may feel like a feat beyond human capability, comparing your own place in life to theirs is honestly a little bit insensitive.
You have been a testimony to fill in the blank; ie: inner-strength, faith, positivity, putting on a brave face, etc. But, what about the rest of us, down here on earth? While this may be a comforting reminder when someone has been sick for a long time, most often, a grieving person wants nothing more than the lost loved one by his or her side. It takes effort to be positive during hard times.
While I fully believe good memories are powerful forces in healing, I know firsthand that in times of sadness, they can be hard to come by. Instead, say: If you knew the deceased, share a memory or a story that might put a smile on your loved ones' faces. If you knew the person well, maybe go out and purchase a little journal and write down a few memories. Give this to loved ones as a gift that they can use to continue recording their own good memories when they feel ready.
Even as a self-identified spiritual person, this is the last thing I wanted to hear. Instead, say: When my mom died, our church minister said something that stuck with me. This will be offered approximately five billion times give or take a few. People say this all the time without any intention to do anything in particular to help someone through the grieving process. Would this be okay, or is there something else with which I can help?
I write this list because I believe we all could benefit from an open dialogue regarding the ways in which grief and loss affect our lives.
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Follow on Linkedin It is important to offer condolences to a grieving friend after their loved one has died.
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| He will be in a better place now | This Earth? You can also be specific. His spirit will always be remembered. But, they are somehow getting through it, day by day. Use this as an opportunity to share your favorite memory of the deceased. Simple kindness will go a long way, and truth be told, sometimes the greatest comfort https://vegas.vegasbets.online/crypto-making-money-off-volume-rates/5806-online-sports-gambling-states.php all is the shoulder of a familiar friend to lean on in silence. I was drowning in my own dread, refusing to think the thoughts that were forcefully creeping into my mind. |
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| He will be in a better place now | Send an e-mail instead of a letter, type directions into your cell phone instead of writing them down, and bring your own fabric shopping bags to the store. Every link needs to find comfort in different ways. Here is a list of some of their ideas, and a few others, on how to make the world a better place one small action at a time. What impact did they have on the world? When nurses, doctors and paramedics refused to look me in the eyes after two hours, I felt it. |
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